Contrast
by borderfame-sabrestar
Summary: NTxRL. Narration of the night Tonks confessed her feelings for Lupin and the way she feels about his being a werewolf. Shows how easy it is to see the best in people, no matter their differences. Short, fluffy drabble. Enjoy!


Just a very quick little fic about Tonks and Remus (who are by far my favourite HP couple). I was thinking of doing an extended story about them but unfortunately I won't find the time until next holidays, after exams are over, so this is just a taste of something I hope to make much better, in the somewhat distant future :) Hope you like it.

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><p><strong>Contrast<strong>

_Nymphadora Tonks & Remus Lupin_**  
><strong>

The night was surprisingly cold as they wandered down the main street of Hogsmeade, having just left Hogwarts to apparate home. It had been such a long night. Tonks breathed in deeply, cold air causing her lungs to ache and her breath to cloud in front of her. Her clothes were sweaty and torn in places, her hair plastered to the back of her neck, her skin cold and shivering. Remus didn't look much better - his usually neat hair was messy and out of place, his tired eyes unable to look away from the ground and his sore muscles moving slowly.

Being a part of the Order was difficult, but being a werewolf was probably not much of an advantage either, thought Tonks, biting her lip as she looked up at the ex-professor. Remus didn't smile at her as his leathery hand took hers and apparated, the familiar sickening tugging at her stomach only making her feel worse.

Tonks was sure that Remus was about to just leave her at her doorstep to her tiny London flat and scamper off. He wouldn't look at her as he smiled weakly and began to say goodnight. She could tell when he was uncomfortable.

Tonks interrupted him by saying, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you tonight, Remus."

Tonks had yelled at him at the hospital in front of everybody – she couldn't help it. She saw Fleur rushing in and gathering Bill up in her arms, knowing full well that the future would hold many hardships for them, but she still kissed him and told him she loved him – and Tonks had lost it. Why couldn't Remus see that she just wanted to be with him, no matter what was wrong with him? Why couldn't Remus see that he was perfect?

Remus paused and he stared up at her, making eye contact for a moment before looking away with another watery smile. "No – no, not at all, Dora…"

His words trailed off and Tonks sighed. "Obviously I did. I can understand that. I'd be ashamed of me, too."

She opened her door and walked inside, attempting to close it but Remus held it open. "No, Dora, you didn't – you don't embarrass me. Not at all."

Tonks glared at him, her hair turning a shade darker. "Then why won't you look at me?"

She caught his gaze again and he sighed. He was always so calm. "I – I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. I wish I could tell you how I feel but I can't let myself do that. I can't do that to you."

"I thought we agreed that this wolf thing wouldn't get between us, you said we could make this work. Or was that all lies?"

"I have never lied to you," he said, his warm eyes pleading to her. "I just – just can't stand the thought of you being disappointed." He looked away from her again, and he mumbled to the floor. "Being with me would – it would be a bitter disappointment."

"Nothing you do could disappoint me," Tonks said, her hand twitching to reach out to him, but she made herself walk inside, clenching her fists.

"You don't understand," Remus said desperately, following her as she walked down the hall away from him. "I can't be with you. I'm too old, I'm poor, I'm – I'm weak –"

"I don't care about that."

"I can't be with you. You're – you're different. You're something else."

"Then why don't you want me?" Tonks demanded, whirling around to face him, her hair shifting colours from dark blue to red to black. "What could possibly be wrong?"

Remus was beginning to become irritated, too, but his frustration was more subtle. His voice became strained, and his words became sharper. "Everything, Dora, everything about me is wrong for you…"

"What, you're a werewolf?" Tonks said, her voice raising to a shout. "You think that matters to me?"

"I can't – I couldn't ask –"

"Remus, why won't you listen to me?" Tonks cried, her voice becoming raspy and choked up. "Why won't you just listen?"

"I can't do this to you, Dora," he replied, with the same hopeless look in his eyes as before. "This isn't something I would ever ask you to do for anybody, let alone me."

"You're doing this because you think I'm still a child," Tonks threw back at him, her loud voice contrasting wildly with Remus' quiet, aching tones. But then again, everything about her contrasted with him. He was so calm and so placid, while she was like a whirlwind, always making a mess wherever she went.

Her eyes shone with tears as Tonks spoke. "You're doing this because you're sick of me. You don't even want me at all!" All of her insecurities began to show in her angry words.

"I'm doing this because I care about you," he said, voice raised slightly in desperation, stepping towards her. His fading blonde hair hung across his face, lines drawn deep beneath his tired eyes. Tonks felt an urge to ease the lines from his skin, to help him get better. His dark bronze eyes sought out hers as he spoke. "I'm doing this because you mean more to me than anything, and I would not let you waste your time with – with somebody like me."

Tonks paused long enough to take two long, deep breaths, forcing herself to be calm. She had to explain to him clearly, she had to make him see reason.

"You don't deserve a life like this," Remus sighed, cutting into the laboured silence. "You would be better off –"

"I would be better off being with somebody I love!" Tonks cried, her voice breaking. Remus stopped, and he stared at her strangely. Tonks felt the prickle of tears behind her eyes and Remus began to look blurry as they brimmed at her eyelids. She blinked them away and they burned down her cheeks.

"I want to take care of you when you're sick, I want to spend every moment with you," she said, trying not to snivel as she spoke. "If I thought your lycanthropy made you any less of a man, then I wouldn't be fighting for you, would I? I'd have given up!"

Remus stared down at her, his eyes flicking from the floor to the walls, back to her eyes. He didn't know what to say. "Dora, I – I don't – I don't think I deserve that. I'm not good for you."

Tonks shook with anger and felt her heart pounding, begging her to make this right, but she could fight the only way she knew how – flying into a violent rage and screaming like an overgrown child. She threw a violent kick at a chair, flinging it into the wall where it made an unpleasant cracking sound as the wood split.

Tonks turned back to Remus, her hair turned a deep, fiery red, and she yelled, "Do you not understand? Are you a complete _idiot_?" Her voice shook as she yelled at him. "I would be happier here than anywhere else in the world, why can't you see that? I don't care that you're a werewolf. I don't care…"

She squeezed her eyes shut and looked away from him. She clenched her fists again, pushing them into her stinging eyes, and she heard him step towards her, and then he pulled her into his arms. She clutched onto his jacket, and cried onto his shoulder, letting him absorb her choking sobs and tears.

"Why won't you let me love you?" Tonks whispered, voice breaking again. "I can't – I have to –"

"Shh, Dora," Remus murmured quietly into her hair, which had returned from the violent shade of red to her normal dark blonde, and Remus lifted a scarred hand to hold her close.

"I don't want anybody else," she cried, "I want you, only you. I – I –"

Remus let her cry into his coat, and he held her tightly. "It's alright, Dora," he said, "It's okay."

She pulled away and stared up at him with her big dark eyes, eyelashes tangled as tears flowed down her pale cheeks. Remus stared at her for a moment, before he held her face gently in his hands. "Tell me you don't want me," he whispered, "And I'll say I don't love you."

Tonks shook her head as soon as the words left his lips. "No," she replied, voice thick with tears. "I – I want you. I want it all."

Remus sighed as though a heavy weight had been lifted from his chest. "Oh, Dora, I love you. I have always loved you…" he managed, before he drew her close and crushed his lips to hers in a searing kiss.

The kiss was demanding and needy, but it wasn't harsh. It was messy, but Tonks knew if it had been less delayed then it would not have been quite so passionate. Tonks tugged on his jacket to pull him closer, and he wrapped both arms around her. She moulded herself to Remus and his alarmingly gentle touch, even when he was frenzied, and she was trying to memorise the feel of his skin and his lips against hers, inhaling the smell she had craved for so long, and as they tumbled and turned in each other's arms they found a way to make this contrast work.


End file.
